There's a point in your life when you think you know yourself pretty well and then you do something you never imagined you'd have done and your opinion of yourself changes completely.
I used to think that I was a pretty sensible and centered person, but this past few weeks I've proven myself wrong. This past weeks I've been incredibly selfish and stupid to a person that has been one of the most important persons in my life this past few months. And though I thought I had the right to be angry at it and, in a way, I still feel like I should be angry, it was one of the most dumb things I've done. I've behaved like a 12-year-old spoiled kid who gets mad just because she can't get what she wants, and the only thing I was doing was hurting both of us. Actually, I was hurting myself because when someone is so important in your life the effort it takes to ignore it, to not even look at this person, just tears you appart. I don't know how many times these weeks I've caught myself thinking I had to tell this person something but remembering I couldn't because we weren't talking to each other. But I guess you only value what you've got once you've missed it, and I hope I haven't missed it, at least not completely. I want to think that, at least, I've caught myself on time on being stupid and that the next time I'll be more mature and talk the problems through instead of trying to pull out someone important from my life.
Still, I know that I need to take some actions, that my redemption is not complete and that it will only come when I've apologized for being irrational and childish, because that's what centered people do.
