9/25/2017

Tired

She woke up tired. She did of late, she didn't know if it was the new mattress, the new house, the new silence around the house, or the new void beside her in bed. Or maybe it was the dreams that wouldn't go away, dreams that chased her during the day, making her wonder if any of it had been true. Dreams that made her wake up in the middle of the night, searching for a familiar scent that was no longer there.

As usual, she dragged herself out of the bed and into the shower as soon as her alarm rang. It was still dark outside, the lazy winter sun waking up much later than herself. The warm water washed away the last dregs of sleep, but it wouldn't do the same with those of dream. She stood in the shower, remembering, knowing that she was only hurting herself more.

She went through her day, trying to keep busy, her eyelids heavy at times, her heart, at others. She endured the day the best she could and fell on her bed as soon as she got home. Maybe if she was tired, she would have a dreamless sleep, she lied to herself again. And as she slept, she dreamt again, she dreamt of all she had lost and would never have again.