Information

Sunrise caught me unawares, as it usually did during my sleepless nights. I had hoped that the bath would have helped me fall asleep, however there was way too much going inside my head for me to fall asleep. I had lied awake in bed, I had walked around the apartment, windows open, feeling the night cold against my naked skin, I had tried to read without success, I had chain-smoked. When the sun rose I gave up and put on my running clothes to do my morning run around the Luxembourg gardens. 

I returned one hour later, sweaty and energized to find another envelope inside my letterbox. The hour and the place were perfect for breakfast, so I decided that I would take advantage of that. I took a quick shower and changed into a pair of jeans, a loose shirt, and a thick woolen sweater. I took my purse and I walked towards the cafeteria, which was conveniently located not far from my place. 

This time Léa was waiting for me, she had already ordered and waited until I placed my order to talk to me. 

"Bonjour, Mademoiselle Rothenberg. Have you thought about my offer?" 

I bit into the pain au chocolat before answering. "I have."

"And what is your answer."

"I will do it."

"Very well,..." I interrupted her. 

"You will provide with all means necessary but I will decide when and how. Also, we need to talk about my payment."

"Information." 

"Yes."

"On your mother's death." It wasn't a question. 

Luxembourg

The night air was cold against my skin. I stopped for a moment to light a cigarette and consider my way back home. The night was humid, but fog conferred a spectral beauty to the city and I just could not see myself taking the public transport. So I walked. I hadn't even bothered to check if Léa had followed me because I had the feeling that she was still up there, staring at the cemetery. 

I walked slowly, lost in thought, but alert to everything that happened. I had always been extremely careful when I walked up alone at night, monitoring the shadows that I cast and changing my pace if someone walked near me at a similar one. Sometimes I stopped for longer at the traffic lights only to cross just before it changed colors again. That night was no different. Yet, part of my brain was thinking about Léa's proposition. I wanted to do it. I didn't know why, but I wanted it. I had had enough of men doing whatever they wanted. It was dangerous, yes, but it was who I had become. Or maybe it was who I had been all the time, but I had never accepted it. 

I walked around the Luxembourg gardens on my way home, feeling the cleaner air that they produced. There was something else, I knew. Léa could be able to give an answer to a question that had haunted me for years. However, I could not base my decision on only that. I had to decide whether on its own it was worth doing it. 

I was almost home when it started raining heavily, in true newbie fashion I had forgotten my umbrella and I arrived home completely soaked. I opened the door of my apartment with my shoes in one hand and I undressed in the hall, leaving the wet dress and tights on a pile in the floor, my coat, and purse in the hanger. Dressed only in my underwear, I went to the bathroom and prepared myself a bath to get the cold off my bones. As I slipped into the bathtub, I could not stop thinking about the choice I had in front of me. 

On the Tour de Montparnasse

She had told me to call her Léa, although I could tell it was not her real name. After dinner, we walked together down the Montparnasse Boulevard towards the Montparnasse tower where she flashed a pass and was let through. We took the elevator towards the last floor, in silence. It was a foggy day so not much could be seen from the observatory, however, that guaranteed that there would be no one around to overhear our conversation. 

"As I told you in the letter, I was very impressed by how you handled the things at Pont Neuf, Mademoiselle Rothenberg." She had taken to calling me by my surname and I kind of preferred it that way. "Was it your first time?" 

I pondered what to answer. I could either lie, say the truth, or do neither. I decided to be straightforward. "Yes, it was my first time."

"As I suspected, you have an innate talent for this." She turned towards the window and looked down towards the Montparnasse cemetery. "I have a business proposition for you." 

"What kind of business?" 

"I think you are smart enough to guess."

Murder. That was the business she was proposing. "What kind of person do you think I am?"

"The kind that will do anything to make the world a better place for women." she paused and looked at me. "It will not be indiscriminate murder, we will go against rapists and abusers. You didn't know it when you threw Vincent off the parapet, but we had been keeping his trail for a long time. He had raped several girls." I shuddered. "You did the right thing for the wrong motive, we will change that." 

"Can I take some time to think about it?" I asked, needing to get out of that building and get some fresh air. 

"You will get as much money as you want."

I laugh heartily at that. "I don't need money. I don't want money. I have money in spades, as you probably already know." 

"What do you want, then?"

"Time to think. And knowledge." I said before heading towards the elevator. 

A glass of red wine

The envelope sat on the kitchen table for days, as I pushed it around every time I had a meal. I had given it much thoughts and, at first, it seemed a terrible idea. Someone had seen me push Vincent over the parapet of Pont Neuf and had decided that they liked it. No one in their right state of mind would say anything like that. However, there was a part of me that was curious, I guess that was why I had not thrown away the card. Whoever it was had the means to know things and knowledge is a powerful weapon that I wanted for myself. One day I could just not stand it anymore, I either burnt the letter or went to the place, and I decided that I might as well go. I dressed up, if I went, I might as well dress the part. Since the incident I had renovated my closet with things that I considered to be more according to my new status. One of such was a fitted black dress that went just to my knee, some heels, a touch of makeup on my eyes, the red lipstick, and my red coat, and I was ready to go. 

I arrived at a restaurant with time to spare, it was a fancy place in the Parisian sense, it was crowded, the tables weren’t particularly new, but the food was amazing and it was a place renowned for having hosted multitude of writers during the roaring twenties. I was approached by a waiter and promptly seated at a table in the terrace, as I was bound to smoke while I waited. I ordered a glass or red wine and looked at the color without tasting it. I almost expected for no one to come, there hadn’t been a date, after all, but something told me that I wouldn’t be disappointed. I was smoking a cigarette, trying to look calm, when someone sat across me. 

“Mademoiselle Rothenberg.”

I looked at her, she was an elderly woman, but I could not really tell her age as I had the feeling that she looked younger than she seemed. She had that classic Parisian elegance that we have been told that it’s predominant in the city of lights, but that it is so hard to find. Her hair was white and pinned on the back of her head in a bun. She took off her gloves as she sat down and put them away inside her purse. 

“I started to be afraid that you would decline my invitation.” she said in perfect English with a heavy French accent. “I am glad to finally meet you, I believe that you will be more comfortable speaking in English?” 

I nodded. “Your knowledge of me made me curious, so I thought I better learn it from the source.”

“Of course, ma chérie, but not here.” She turned towards a waiter who wasted no time taking her order. “We cannot talk about serious things in an empty stomach, anyway.”