Sadness at the coffee shop

She was sitting on her own at a coffee shop staring at the coffee that was getting cold on the table. The coffee didn't make sense, why was there coffee on the table? She didn't remember having ordered it. Actually, she didn't even remember where she was. Her world was crumbling why should her mind care about what her body did? If nothing had sense anymore why should she care about anything else than the moment when the phone rang shattering her life forever? She remembered the phone call vividly and even some hours after it, the hours spent at the hospital, when he was lying in a cold ER room surrounded by beeping machines that were secretly telling her that he wasn't going to make it, that those minutes where all the time they had left together and that the destiny had made that he wouldn't be able to enjoy them, although, possibly, deep in his coma he knew that everything was coming to an end. The end to a story that was too short, they were just starting to share a life together. While sitting on the coffee shop she remembered it all.

They had met at a friend's house, by then she was still going out with her college boyfriend, thinking that she was happy and that it was love. He was just visiting those friends after having spent some time abroad trying to make a living on writing, thinking that maybe if he had some new experiences he would be able to overcome the fear of the blank page, but he realized that it was a problem that he had to solve himself and that travelling wouldn't cure that, so he went back home and faced it. They started talking when they found themselves sitting one next to the other at the table, although they didn't have much in common both of them felt comfortable with the other and they left thinking that maybe there actually was a connection between them. They spent some time without seeing each other, but one day at a restaurant they happened to be sitting on adjacent tables. They talked a bit and accorded to meet for coffee some other day, only as friends. The day they went for coffee her view of life changed forever, she realized that she didn't love her boyfriend, she had loved him at the start, but not anymore, that after 4 years of relationship there was nothing left of the love she had at the start. She decided to talk to her boyfriend immediately, she though that it was better that he knew it as soon as possible, that it was for the best if they both stopped that relationship that was going nowhere. And, although her boyfriend was sad about it finishing, he knew she was right, he had known she didn't love him for a long time, and even if he still loved her he knew that she wouldn't be able to give him what he needed.

After the breakup she had found some time to clear up her mind about what she was expecting from live and love, she kept up having "dates" with him where he talked about the places he had been and soon she started picturing herself going with him in look for adventures. Suddenly there wasn't a day where they didn't talk and just like that they started a relationship. Everything so natural and effortless that no one was surprised when they decided to move in together after only some moths of relationship. But when they were only some weeks short of a year living together it all finished. For both of them.

Now she wasn't thinking what was she going to do without him, she was only living her life day by day, not thinking about anything letting her body do the work. Even after some weeks she still wasn't able to think about packing his things and storing them away. She couldn't remember that she had to cook only for one now, that she only needed to set up the table for one and that she didn't need to go tell him that dinner was ready because he was writing and in his own world. She wouldn't remember all of it as she couldn't remember that she was sitting in the coffee shop where they had their first coffee together.