I had vertigo, and it was hilarious.

I know, "vertigo" and "hilarious" are two words that don't go well together. Mostly because having your head spin all the time is no laughing matter. BUT this happened to me, and it happens to be hilarious, so brace yourselves (also, there are going to be lots of screencaps of Twitter because I WAS hilarious at that time).

It all started on Saturday morning when I was trying to be lazy after a long week of overworking myself (and overthinking about several things). I was basically laying on the sofa and feeling kind of hungry when I decided to stand up and go to the kitchen. And my head started spinning. Because my brain remembers the weirdest things, I remembered when, at uni, I was taught about postural hypotension, and I assumed that was it. Because I kept feeling light-headed EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN time I stood up, I decided to Google possible causes. 

And because I'm an hypochondriac it didn't go exactly as planned. So I decided to take the next logical step, which was: 

I have another problem which is basically that there are words I know in English but not in my own language, and this is problematic, because I assume that the first thing doctors do when you start blurting words in another language is send you for a CT scan (which MAYBE wouldn't have been such a bad idea). 

So, it was 4pm and I was very very wrong about two things: 1) me having postural hypotension, and 2) whatever it was not being fun. 

At that point I had already decided to go to the ER, which I should have probably done before, and I was already starting to be hilarious, unknowingly. 

I discovered how fun it was only three minutes later. Long story short, I went to the ER and I started tweeting as if it were the last day on Earth. I'll let the tweets do the talking. 

I was very wrong, it never stops being funny. 

Also wrong. 

I'm a delight and I always think I have the worse possible illnesses. Because I read too much scientific literature, probably. 

Also, I'm delusional and I think I can pick what I get to have. 

Here someone was encouraging my rambling. Someone who was probably high, too. 

Here dears Richard and Mia chimed in and encouraged me to tweet even more nonsense. Most of the conversation was AFTER I left the ER, but still. 

My usual delightfulness. I'm gold (also I had actually tipped golf, because I'm writting this on my iPad and I'm clumsy, and of course I'm not golf). 

This is a legitimate question because my phone's battery lasts like two seconds or so, therefore I needed to plug it. I also want to note that when the doctor asked me what happened to me I literally told him I felt high AND HE DIDN'T NOTE IT DOWN. THIS IS CLEARLY A SYMPTOM. In the end they told me I had vertigo and it could be either because of vestibular neuritis or a pulled muscle. In any case one of the symptoms is being high for free so I can't complain much. Well, except when it happens at work, like today, and I can't stop laughing at every single thing, or rationalize bad ideas, like even the worst of the ideas seems a good one to me. I should probably get checked. 

If you have made it this far you deserve to read the BEST text I've ever sent to my best friend. It is hysterical, but he doesn't seem to agree (because he's no fun, probably). 

Also the picture size is random, but don't blame me, I'm to cognitively impaired right now to fix it.