A Cry for Help

You told me I could count on you, no matter what, you told me that you'd be within an arm's reach to keep me on my feet. I remember your smile as you wiped the tears from my eyes with your thumbs caressing my wet cheeks in the process. I remember how much I thought I loved you. You're still within an arm's reach, you still have that warm smile, and I still love you. Still, now that anxiety has taken control of my life, now that I have no feelings other than bursts of stress, now that I need you, I can't reach out to you. It's not that you are not willing to help, I know you are. It's just that I don't know how to ask for it. Even if I need you more than I have ever needed anyone, I can't say the words. You are happy and smiling and within an arm's reach, and I can't say the words that would let you know the chaos inside me. I can't say the words that would make me feel better. And I can't because I don't want to annoy you, because I think you must already have your problems and that you don't need mine. I just can't make a cry for help.