I stood outside as the rain washed over me. My clothes were dripping wet, clinging on my body, my long hair had long been an extension of the downpour. I felt as if I could still hear my mother telling me to get inside, as she would do when I was a kid and I got outside under the rain. But I was alone on the rooftop, only the city lights keeping me company. It was raining heavily, but there was no electrical storm. It was warm summer rain, yet my whole body shivered.
Few people knew that I would willingly get under the rain. And none would understand. Leo pretended to understand, he even decided to join along once or twice, but for him it only meant getting drenched. To me it was more than that, the rain made me feel a connection with the world, a connection I needed badly. I would try to be outside as soon as I heard the first raindrops, to have the rain kiss my skin, whisper songs in my ear. If people knew that those songs of mine they loved so much had been sung to me by the rain,... They would probably send me to rehab or something, people loved seeing celebrities going to rehab. And, being one of the most talented young pianists of the decade had made me kind of a celebrity.
I heard the rooftop door ope behind me. Leo, I knew, he would be carrying a large towel ad some dry clothes, as he always did when I had been outside under the showers. He had taken care of me from the start, he didn't seem to mind my emotional instability, and that was what made me stable again.
I turned around and saw his silhouette leaning on the lintel. His hands were in his pockets, so he hadn't brought anything. That was weird. He shifted when he saw I was looking at him. And then, he took a step forward, into the pouring rain. Without saying anything he took me by the hand and, together, we walked to the very edge of the rooftop. The streets were empty for that time of the day, the pavement ink black, and, here and there, the umbrellas added a spot of color to the washed out city.
We held hands, still in silence, getting wetter and colder every moment. Even Leo, who always had warm hands, started to feel icy cold. The rain stopped suddenly, as it had started. Leo held me close and kissed me, first on the mouth, then on the forehead. Afterwards, he took my face between his hands and stared at me.
-Promise me something- he said.- Promise me you will always be happy and you will never ever stop going out in the rain. Promise me you will see the world. Promise me you will be independent and you won't let anything hurt you. Promise me you will remember me all your life.
-You are making me scared. Of course, I'll remember you. Are you breaking up with me?
He diverted his gaze and bit his lips as he would when there was something that annoyed him. When he resumed talking he did so looking at the distance.
-I'm not, but we won't be together for long. I went to the doctor today. He told me I only have one week left to live. I'm in pain, in more pain than I have let you see, it is unbearable and it will only get worse. That's why I'm leaving, because I don't want you to see me suffer through it.
-But,...
He shook his head, crying. Without saying anything he made me leave. I was almost at the door when I turned around and ran to his arms once again. I kissed him as if I were never going to kiss anyone ever again. Our tears mixed up.
-I promise I won't ever forget you.
-I will always be there with you.- he squeezed my right hand and kissed it.- Now, leave.
I went back to our, now mine, flat, hardly seeing where I was going. I was fumbling with the keys when I heard the unmistakeable sound of ambulances approaching. I knew what had happened without needing to see it. I leant my forehead against the door.
-Goodbye, Leo.
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