A Story A Day. Story 12 of 365: Sea.

Lena parked her car in front of the hotel late at night. She got lost on her way there, it was a hidden small hotel close to the higher cliffs of the country, so it took her most of the day to arrive. She was happy to be there. "Well, not happy" she thought "I am relieved". She opened the trunk of her car and took out a small bag, it looked like she wasn't expecting to stay for too long. With her bag on her shoulder she headed to the reception. A white-haired old man was looking at her kindly.

-Can I help you, lovely lady?- he asked with the rough voice of someone who has been smoking all its life.
-I'd like to have a room, please.- Lena replied smiling.
-Sure, how long are you planning to stay?
-I don't know yet, Mister...?
-Oh! Don't call me Mister anything, just call me Tim.- he smiled showing some gaps between his teeth.- Well, you can stay here as long as you need to. Come, follow me, I'll show you your room.

Tim guided her through some old wooden stairs covered with a red carpet to the first floor. The corridor was dimly lit and there were doors at both sides of it. Tim stopped and opened a door at his left, he got inside and turned on the lights. The room faced the sea, it was not big, but it looked comfortable. The bed was covered in thick tartan blankets, and the curtains were a deep crimson. There was a fireplace opposite to the bed, with an old armchair next to it. Tim looked at her.

-Here you are, I hope you find the room of your liking. We are not a luxury hotel, we just do our best to keep the customers comfortable and warm. Speaking of which, do you want me to light a fire?
-No, thank you. I'll go straight to sleep, and I've found I sleep better if it's cold.
-As you wish. My wife will be serving breakfast throughout the morning, don't worry there is no schedule, you can eat at any time you want. Good night.- He said while getting out of the room.
-Good night.- Lena replied with a smile.

She undressed and put on her pajamas, although she wasn't sure she would be able to get some sleep. However, as soon as she got inside the bed she fell asleep. It was a dreamless sleep and the first rays of the sun woke her up, as she had forgotten to draw the curtains. She got outside the bed and into the bathroom. There was a really large old bathtub, which she immediately proceeded to fill up with warm water and foamy soap. Laying inside the bathtub after a good night of sleep felt like heaven, she hadn't been so relaxed in ages. She stayed inside the bathtub until the water started cooling off and she realized that she hadn't eaten anything since midday the day before. She got dressed and went downstairs to find Tim at the same place as the day before.

-Did you sleep well, young lady?
-You can call me Lena, Tim.- she smiled, she really liked that old man.- And yes, I did, I hadn't slept so well for a long time.
-I'm glad to hear that. If you want to have breakfast, my wife, Hilda, is in the kitchen right now. She does some excellent pancakes.
-Oh! Yes, I'm starving. Thank you.

Tim headed to the kitchen and she followed suit. It was a large kitchen, with what looked like a dozen different cabinets, and a old wooden table where twelve people could sit comfortably. Hilda was busy at the stoves, she was a little lady who tied her graying hair in a low bun. She hadn't seemed to notice that there was someone else in the kitchen with her as she was humming absentmindedly.

-Hilda, my dear. This is Lena, she's staying in room 5.- Tim said out loud.

Hilda turned around, she smiled both with her mouth and with her little eyes that were hiding behind a set of small round glasses. She wiped her hands on her apron and stepped forward to greet Lena. Her hands were warm.

-Come dear, I'll make you breakfast. What do you want?- she said while making Lena sit on a chair.
-Tim said something about pancakes?
-Sure!- and then she turned around to Tim.- I'll take it from here, we, women, need to talk.

Tim looked at both of them, confused. But he finally bowed his head and left the room. Hilda went back to the stove, telling Lena the story of the hotel in the meantime. After a while she headed back to the table carrying a plate of pancakes at each hand.

-You don't mind if I eat with you, do you?- she said while she left the plates on the table and went back to take a kettle and a pair of cups.
-No, not at all.
-Fine. Chocolate or maple syrup?
-Chocolate would be nice, please.

Hilda sat on a chair and poured some tea for both of them. Then she served Lena the pancakes being quite generous with the chocolate syrup.

-Tell me, dear. Why are you here?
-What do you mean?- Lena said, surprised at such a direct question.
-People don't come here without a reason. Some come here to clear up their minds, some come to write, some don't know why they came at first, but they find the reason in the end. Everyone who stays in here has a story. I want to know yours.
-It's long.- Lena warned her.
-I have all the time of the world.- Hilda replied.
-Ok.- Lena sighed.- For a long time I've had this friend. He was my best friend, I knew I could rely on him, and I could talk to him about everything. He was in love with me, I know because he told me. He told me that he loved me and he knew I didn't love him, but that he would stay being my friend. I felt bad for him, for not being able to love him, but at the same time I was glad he was willing to stay friends with me. I dated some men, but it never worked out, there was always something that made the relationship die, and he was always by my side through the break-ups. One day he met this awesome girl, they were made for each other, and they fell in love. I was very happy for him. He deserved love after all he had been through. And he married that girl. Two days ago. The same day I realized he was the man of my life. The same day I realized that he was lucky I never dated him. Because I want him to be happy and he would have never been with me.- tears were streaming down her face to the pancakes below at that point.

Hilda stood up and opened a few drawers murmuring at herself. She came back with a pack of tissues and handed one to Lena.

-So, you realized too late that he was the one.
-That's not the worse. I realized that he was the only man I would be able to love, but I also realized I would have hurt him deeply if we had ever dated. There is something broken inside me that makes everything around me rot.
-Don't be too harsh on yourself, darling.- Hilda said reaching her hand.
-It's true.
-Come child.- she said moving to her side and hugging her.- Everything is going to be okay.

She hugged Lena until she stopped crying. They finished their breakfast, and Hilda changed the topic to something a bit more cheerful, telling Lena some beautiful places to see around the hotel, with the hope that nature would help her settle down. Lena insisted on cleaning up after finishing her breakfast, but Hilda would have none of it and made her go outside. Lena walked along a path in the forest that finished next to the cliff. There were some huge rocks that had been used as benches through the centuries, as the wear would show. They were smooth and strangely warm. She sat on one and stared blankly at the sea.

Then, she started remembering all the moments she had lived with him. How he had been by her side all the time, not asking for anything else, and she started crying again. She could see his eyes in the color of the sea, she could feel his breath in the sea breeze. It felt as if someone had torn off a piece of her heart, and what was left was still beating oblivious of the gap. Ignoring the fact that it was bleeding to death. Knowing that she would never have him, that she should never have him, hurt more than anything in life. Knowing that if she ever had him it would ruin his life, hurt even more. She had two choices, she could be alone all her life or she could... A running dog interrupted her thoughts. It went straight to her and started licking her hands. A boy went running behind it.

-Sorry, he ran away.- the boy apologized.
-Don't worry, he behaved.- Lena smiled sadly.

The boy leashed the dog and walked away. Before getting lost in the woods he turned around and waved goodbye smiling. He had her friend's smile. Lena could feel her heart breaking into a thousand pieces, even if she thought it was not possible to break anymore. And, then, she jumped off the cliff.